And the Next Relic is
by Lunar Eclipse
Summary: (Not PG-13 yet) This fic, unlike all of my others, is a noninsane fic. And a parody. Chap. 1:ESDWWFECK


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The Next Quest

Warning. You have come into a Lunar Eclipse Zone. Danger: Do Not Enter... Oh, whatever. X_X. Anyone who is reading this *must* know who I am! ...Right? O_O?! This is a dark age in the ToF fandom... no reviewers... But I am here anyway! ...I don't own Threads of Fate. Happy?

~L~U~N~A~R~

It was a normal day in Carona. A new ship was coming in, however, giving a hope of a new interest. Mint sat below deck, staring dreamily out of the window, wondering if she should go above deck instead, not to mention the ubiquitous (A/N: Big word! ^_^_^_^_^!!! Woo-hoo!)..._Will Rue be there? What if he is... OMG... I do not like him! Wait a sec, yes I do. Do not. Do to. Do not..._

As this dramatic, internal struggle went on, Rue was standing above deck, pondering silently. _Relic... I wonder which...I hope Mint isn't wondering if I'm coming, since she was the one who forced me to come. Jeez._

"Five minutes until the ship docks!!!" Mint clenched her jaw, determined to go up on dock. Her efforts were stopped, though, because a big red Pinto rammed into the side sending both her and Johnny Wolf (who had forgot to wear a seat belt... bad doggie.) splashed into the water. Rue gasped, shocked, and ran to the side.

"I'll save you!" He grabbed a lifesaver, and dived off the boat, swimming towards...Johnny Wolf... and tossed the float towards Mint. Mint grabbed it, pouting. _Darn. Rue ALMOST saved me. I hate you, Johnny Wolf..._

Ten Minutes Later...

A soaked-to-the-skin Rue knocked on Klaus' door, the sight causing every girl in a miles' radius to drool. Mira answered, a tissue covering her mouth, and attempted to smile at them, "Oh, welcome back, Rue, we are so glad to see you. Oh, Mint, I never imagined seeing you so soon, hello!"

"Whatever. I need a shower. Now."

"All right, oh, Rue, Klaus wanted to see you..."

"RUE!!!" Elena tackled him to the ground, hugging him, as Prima danced around his head, singing a chorus of "Rue's here!". "We are sooo happy to see you!"

"Oh, hi Elena..." Rue stammered, rather shocked, and picking himself up off the ground, "Nice to see you, too."

"I'll talk to you more at lunch! There is soooo much to catch up on! Come on, Prima, there's a sale today, remember! Bye, Rue!" She sang, skipping off.

"Uh, bye..." This encounter left him speechless, so he just walked down to the basement in silence.

"Hello, Rue."

"Hi, doctor." Rue managed to force out, before lapsing into silence again."

"Here's the new relic. It's called the Ouxfuael [Relic], made by the Aeon Ouxfuael. Its power is so great, even the Dewprism pales before it."

~L~U~N~A~R~

It was a classic, extremely "rich-person's" room. It was large, almost seeming empty save for one chair in the middle of the room. A man named Valen, the creator of the Dewprism, was in a breakdown, staring at a long list in front of him. At that second, a new name appeared, "Ouxfuael", which sent him back into shudders.

"Everything is prepared." A mysterious figure said, appearing in the room.

"What is prepared!? I ordered nothing!" Valen shouted, staring still at the list.

"The view is on us! EVERYTHING. IS. READY. DARNIT."

"WHAT is ready!?"

"The Evil Scheme of Doom Which Will Fail in the End because of Clueless Kids (ESDWWFECK), of course!"

"Tell me again why you made a plan INTENDING to fail?"

"To look evil."

"...What about this. Kill all on this list."

"These...are all of the Aeons claiming to be more powerful than you. Hmm...They're all girls?" The mysterious hooded figure commented.

"You can eliminate the three on the top."

"Why?"

"Well..."

__

Flashback...

"We are the Flefle Sisters, owners of the Coolnesssupreme Relic! Bow before our powers!" The three girls posed dramatically, "You may land the first move, we'll destroy you anyway!"

"Very well." A sphere of magic appeared in his hand, which he tossed at the center one. The blast overwhelmed all three. As soon as it parted, it was clear they were all down. "Wait a second... I. Am. Insulted."

"They did not, per say, live up to their claim." 

"How is this going to affect Mint and Rue, exactly?" The mysterious hooded figure asked skeptically, "You know, it can't be fully Evil if it doesn't affect them."

"..." _I need a new advisor..._

~L~U~N~A~R~

"Hey! Tell me about the [relic]!" Mint shouted to Rue, "Come on, is it a good one?"

"Nothing new. Supposedly ten million times more powerful than the Dewprism." Rue answered with a shrug. "So, shall we be going?"

"Of c...WHAT THE!?"

A large, blue light appeared, revealing two men. One was familiar, being the Aeon they fought before in the fortress. The second was a mysterious hooded figure. "Valen!? Mysterious hooded figure!?" They both shouted in disbelief.

"I have come to tell you that I am hiring open slots for assassins willing to kill these people..." He held out a list towards them, but the M.H.F. (Mysterious hooded figure) jumped in.

"He said he will destroy the world as you know it and turn it into a hellish wasteland."

"Furthermore, as of you, my son..." He pursed his lips, before continuing, "Will receive redemption if you service me."

"Furthermore, he will take excess time to disassemble you while you're still alive and conscious." M.H.F. finished.

"You are fired."

"I am...WHAT!?" M.H.F. screamed in fury, before vanishing.

"...Go to hell." Mint answered simply before both of them simply left for the departing ship.

__

Later...

It was at least 10:00PM, though Mint sat up in bed, very much awake. "Rue..." _How to tell, how to tell. If I don't say I like him, he'll go out with ELENA, darn it! Wait a sec, I DON'T like him. I do. Not. Oh, what the heck ever, I do. Argh..._

AS YOU NOTICED...I improved my writing style! YAY! Now, tell me the truth. Is it funny-er when it is or isN'T insane-y? Let me see... I dub thee, chappie 1, ESDWWFECK. R&R! Any suggestions will be happily accepted! PLEEEASE!?!?!?!? Oh! I forgot to say, I'll try to make chappies longer in the future! ME PROMICE, okay? K...Oh, ne way, I left because S'lene told me to improve or else (DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNN) so...I did. Not to mention some say I'm funnier when not sugar-high. Sheesh.


End file.
